Point: The house party is dead

Originally published in The Fulcrum:

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn the tragic loss of the house party. You were lost to us far too young."

That’s right, folks, the house party is dead... and it seems like just yesterday that we were going to our first party without clowns or our parents. To quote notable party authority Jim Davis: "Sure we all have this mental image of a rowdy party animal boogieing across the coffee table with a lamp shade tilting crazily atop his head. But when was the last time you actually saw someone at a party wearing a lamp shade?"

The last good house party I attended, I had to throw. The rise of the dorm residence and the inclination to drink in a bar once you turn 19—or migrate to the other side of the river for those underagers—has lead to the inevitable demise of the house party. Unless you live at home, or have friends in the city who are still in high school, chances are you will spend most of your precious boozehound university days among the throngs of people standing outside Le Bop. So let us raise a glass to our dearly departed, "House party, lo how we will miss you."